Episode #121

What Do You Want?

Do you ever question your self-worth or needs? Do you ever downplay your gifts, your abilities, or your successes? It can be so hard to own your talents and live fully and freely in them. Simultaneously, it can be a challenge to voice our needs to those around us.

Today I’m deep-diving into a conversation that originated from a question my own coach asked me. My coach, Natalie K. Miller, host of the Mind Witchery podcast, asked me recently, “When did you stop believing that you needed things?” This led me into some deep self-exploration and realization that I’m going to share with you today.



My Realizations:

I was able to articulate a dichotomy and two things that are pulling at each other in the way that I’ve been approaching my career and my life.

The realizations I had during my discussion with Natalie were:

  1. I am extraordinary.
  2. I have a hard time owning it.
  3. Since I can do so many things, I believe that I need to do everything myself.
  4. I need things.

I have an incredibly hard time owning how extraordinary I am and how extraordinary my accomplishments are. Realizing I need things was a huge revelation for me.


3 Questions to ask yourself:

  1. What do you want?
  2. What do you need?
  3. How do you want it to feel?

The big picture here is to help you own and answer those questions.


Stories from my own clients:

I’m sharing 3 stories from my own clients who asked themselves these 3 questions.

Client 1:

This client was in the market for a new job and was having a hard time committing to applying and putting herself out there, so I led her through answering these three questions.

I see this happen a lot. That my clients, especially women, have a bigger opportunity that they might want to go for, but they stop themselves or get in their heads about going for that opportunity because they can see the potential problems that they don’t even have yet that the opportunity could possibly bring. 

This led to her having multiple offers, turning down offers, and landing her dream offer.

Client 2:

This client was asked by the Provost to throw her hat in the ring for an administrative role. She was worried about skipping steps and veering off the ‘traditional path’ she had in mind for her career. I asked her these 3 questions and helped her dig down into the question, “What do you want?” This was massive for her in her final decision making.

Client 3:

During a vision exercise, this client said, “I want to envision what I want, I don’t want to think about what other people are saying about me. I want to really envision what I want and start from there.” 


Journal Prompts:

  1. What do you want?

-Write down that question and put each of the different words in capital letters, and then answer that.

  • WHAT do you want?
  • What DO you want?
  • What do YOU want?
  • What do you WANT?

-Journal through each of these questions.

2. What do you need?

-Think about: what kind of support do you need to get what you want? What kind of tools do you need to get what you want? What kind of resources do you need to get what you want? What kind of relationships do you need to get what you want?

-Journal through each of these questions.

3. How do you want it to feel?

-Pick 3 adjectives for how you want to feel.

-Ask yourself what a person who is like that does.

-Create a list of practical steps to create that feeling.

Wrapping it up:

The Navigate program gives you a ton of support around these three questions: 

  • What do you want? 
  • What do you need? 
  • How do you want it to feel? 

I hope that we are building a company that supports you in discovering your answers to these three questions.

Catch all the Navigate program details and get on the waitlist here!

Quotes to Note:

“If you cut yourself off from opportunities, sometimes it’s hard to even hear what you want.” [18:15]

“The ‘what do you want?’ question is the most radical question that you can ask.” [18:20]

“Sometimes we are so caught up in the ‘shoulds’, and ‘suppose tos’ and the traditional paths that we don’t know what we want.” [23:30]


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